


Letter of Resignation

by Hallie_Blue



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Gen, Humor, idk., letters of resignation, made with a prompt generator, ment to be light-hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 21:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hallie_Blue/pseuds/Hallie_Blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically just pure crack....</p><p>Newt writes a letter of resignation to W.I.C.K.E.D. </p><p>and other random fill in the blank generators using Maze Runner terms and characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letter of Resignation

**Author's Note:**

> I made this using http://www.letter-generator.org.uk/ because I was bored and have massive writers block and needed to post something.

Dear Rat Man,

I have some news, which I think you will find quite unpleasant.

Over the last three years, I have found working for W.I.C.K.E.D. both annoying and klunky.

It's fair to say that the Keeper of the Runners is trendy and the Gladers are shanks, but this has not stopped me from finding the work shucky.

I have really enjoyed drinking with the Keeper of the Runners and stealing hot new running shoes from the Box. But all good things must come to an end.

As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of coming out of the bloody maze have become increasingly frequent. I dream of getting up in the morning and joking, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a ladder and I'm almost there.

Thus I must resign from my job as a Maze Runner, to pursue my true calling as out of the bloody maze.

In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of patience, which is why I leave with a heavy heart and a sharp wit.

Best of luck with your continued pursuit of curing the Flare.

Yours sincerely

Newt, the Glue

To Be Continued...


	2. RE: Totally Shuck-tastic Living Conditions

Dear Ava Paige,

Thank you for providing me with a very dirty and stupid Homestead over the last three years. I have really enjoyed dealing with the annoying neighbors, particularly the one who likes changing the maze in the middle of the night.

I also love clearing up after the Grievers that seem to roam the neighborhood. I once caught two shanks complaining in the the Bloodhouse upstairs. Incidentally, the the kitchen is like a really grubby slaughter house and the the Runner's Hut has mould growing on the walls.

Perhaps, given that you deem the Glade an acceptable place to live, you would like to inhabit it for a while. When it rains, beetle blades fall through the roof. But I'm sure you won't mind that, given that you thought it suitable conditions for me.

The area is relatively crime free, during my time here, I have only known of two banishments and three Griever stings, making Homestead a steal at the current rent.

It is with a most heavy heart that I hereby give notice on the Glade.

I've left a pair of a Grievers living in the bath to express my gratitude.

Yours sincerely,

Minho


	3. W.I.C.K.E.D. Breakup

Dear W.I.C.K.E.D.,

To me, you are like a very brilliant Griever and I'm not sure that I need a very brilliant Griever in my life right now.

Things started to go wrong when I caught you plotting against Minho and I.

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that Janson is extremely wild and Brenda is, without a doubt, the most stunning person I've ever known.

It's true, we've had some shuck times running together. You have eyes like slinthead vines and the most klunk brain I've ever seen.

Your personality is like a really bright Beetle Blade snuggling into my skull. When I see you running it makes me want to steal your vine eyes and post them to the Glade.

I lie in bed at night wishing you were Newt and not a Griever who likes plotting against Minho and I.

What I'm trying to say, is take your klunk brain and go.

Yours no more,

Thomas


	4. I Miss You

 


	5. Escaping with the Maze Runner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bursting with originality. An articulate boy falling for a muscular vampire has simply never been done before."  
> \- The Daily Tale
> 
>  
> 
> ....A faux jacket cover and reviews for a non-extistent Maze Runner fan-fiction.

# Escaping with the Maze Runner

## A Teen Vampire Story  
by Hallie_Blue

There's a lovable new boy in the Glade and he has everybody talking. Stunningly muscular and devastatingly brilliant, all the boys want him. However, Minho Liu has a secret - he's a sarcastic vampire.

Thomas Stilinski is an articulate, athletic boy who enjoys running. He becomes fascinated by Minho who can stop Grievers with his bare hands. He doesn't understand why he's so standoffish.

His best friend, a splendid Crank called Newt, helps Thomas begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the wooden, weathered spear.

When bodies start turning up all over the Glade, Thomas begins to fear the worst. The Crank urges him to report Minho to the police and he knows he should, so what's stopping him?

He may resist Minho's bite, but can he resist his charms?

Will he be caught escaping with the Maze Runner?

#### Praise for Escaping With the Vampire

"Bursting with originality. An articulate boy falling for a muscular vampire has simply never been done before."

\- The Daily Tale

 

"About as moving as a cow stuck in a bog, but  _Escaping With the Maze Runner_ does deliver an important message about not having a Crank for a friend."

\- Enid Kibbler

 

"A wooden, weathered spear would be my first choice too. This must be based on a true story, you couldn't make this stuff up!"

\- Hit the Spoof

 

"I could do better."

\- Zob Gloop


End file.
